he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
