its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
