bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
