someone get that fucking seahorse.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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