You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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