sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
