i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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