this beer tastes like vomit already
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
