My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
