cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize