you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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