I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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