well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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