god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
