THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
