So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
