How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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