i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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