this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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