another moral hangover. fuck.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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