He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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