Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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