she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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