Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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