He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
