ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
