having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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