It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
