My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
