I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
