Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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