Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize