Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
