JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
