I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
