you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
