You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
