you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
