Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
