dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
