Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize