I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
