jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize