But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
