this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize