New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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