remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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