I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
