would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
