I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
