Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
