Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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