i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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