Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
