He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
