we made out on top of his cat.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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