How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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