Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Less talking, more tequila
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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