i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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