i need an iv and a liver transplant
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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