Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
