He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
