omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
