I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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