Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
