Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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