just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
