..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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